Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Time goes on

Time goes on

Time passes and events happen in our lives.  Some seeming significant some seeming casual, but we don’t realize their significance until later.  Hindsight is 20/20 and all of that.

I have a new job, I was hired as a personal assistant though my job has morphed into something more.  It makes me proud to know that I can take a minimal job and turn it into more.  Now I just need to be paid for what I’m doing =)

Little things however, like shopping for groceries in a small Southern California beach town, can be an enlightening experience.  I love the unique feel that is a small California town.  I felt it up in Palo Alto when I was a kid, and I felt it in Pacific Beach today.  I don’t think I’ve quite found ‘home’ yet, whatever that is, but I think I’m getting closer.  

Home was a concept brought up by someone to me today, what is home?  Can we ever go home?  What makes someplace home?  The house where I grew up has been remodeled into something I don’t recognize, and I haven’t lived there since 1991 so that isn’t home anymore, I’ve lived here for the past four or so years, but this house isn’t home by any means.  However I do think San Diego is beginning to become home.

I’m healthier here than I’ve ever been, I am thriving in the sunshine even if I try to never go out into it.  I get to drive my little red convertible around and try to avoid getting sunburnt.  I love the climate, I love the atmosphere, and I think I love the small Southern California town.  I don’t live in one right now, I live in a suburb, but I think I’d like to live in one of those small costal towns, maybe a bit further up north, still in the county though.

What is the point of this rambling?  Nothing really, I can’t bring myself to write about issues, the poor and needy, those who are discriminated against, though they are all in my thoughts.  Day to day life sort of takes over, I’m tired at night now, from working all day, I wake up in the morning with things to do and places to go, and I’m tired when I get home in the evenings.  It’s a different perspective from being unemployed, I’m glad I have seen both sides.  I think I am honestly happier working, surprising as that is.  The paychecks are nice also, I like having the bank stay in the black, it makes life so much less stressful.

Though with my first paycheck I didn’t buy shoes like most girls would, I bought books.  Yes I am a geek but I’m ok with that.

So this isn’t an emotional update or insightful, it’s just a part of life, like walking down the street in a small California beach town.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Looking at 33

Just thoughts this time…

No article, no rants about how the government isn’t spending MY tax dollars well, just some random thoughts about life, that is what this blog thing was supposed to be about right?

I look around me at what people term ‘society’.  I grew up in a conservative religion and embrased that religion for a good portion of my life.  I grew up with expectations, about what I was going to do, where I was going to go, get married, have kids etc.  I was always encouraged to do whatever I wanted to do, but I never even fathomed a life without being married and having children.  

For some reason I thought it would all just drop into my lap without having to work at it or any trial and error.  Mr Right would show up one day, we’d ‘know’ immediately and get married to live happily ever after with 3.2 children and a dog.  Life isn’t like that now is it?

I see all these marriages and relationships that don’t work.  I see stress and strife, mis-communication, mis-understandings and realize yet again that life isn’t a fairy tale and mr right isn’t going to swoop in and take me away.  Hell if he tried I’d most likely press charges.

I do want my own child, and the older I get the more that comes to the forefront of my mind, simply as my body is getting older and it does make a difference in age when having a baby.  I do have my nephews, but as much as I love those two they’re not mine.  I could always adopt later, and if I don’t end up having my own I’ll end up adopting a little girl from some impoverished country.  I am simply fascinated by the genetic craps roll that happens when a child is made and which genes would breed true.

So here I am looking at my 33rd birthday, childless, spouseless, though I do have the dog.  I’m supporting myself, own my own house and car and I’m happy.  I hang out with a bunch of single people, some of which I’m closer to than others, but I am certainly not lonely by any means.  I do wish I had someone to come home to, to cuddle with when I’m feeling overwhelmed or upset, I think that is part of human nature, we are social animals.

Friday, September 02, 2005

CNN.com - The�big disconnect on New Orleans - Sep 2, 2005

CNN.com - The�big disconnect on New Orleans - Sep 2, 2005

This is a story comparing the official responses to questions to the comments from people actually on the ground.

The big disconnect on New Orleans
The official version; then there's the in-the-trenches version

Friday, September 2, 2005; Posted: 4:10 p.m. EDT (20:10 GMT)

Conditions were desperate at the Louisiana Superdome on Thursday.

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (CNN) -- Diverging views of a crumbling New Orleans emerged Thursday. The sanitized view came from federal officials at news conferences and television appearances. But the official line was contradicted by grittier, more desperate views from the shelters and the streets.

These conflicting views came within hours, sometimes minutes of each of each other, as reflected in CNN's transcripts. The speakers include Michael Brown, chief of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, evacuee Raymond Cooper, CNN correspondents and others. Here's what they had to say:

Conditions in the Convention Center


FEMA chief Brown: We learned about that (Thursday), so I have directed that we have all available resources to get that convention center to make sure that they have the food and water and medical care that they need. (See video of CNN asking why FEMA is clueless about conditions -- 2:11)


Mayor Nagin: The convention center is unsanitary and unsafe, and we are running out of supplies for the 15,000 to 20,000 people. (Hear Nagin's angry demand for soldiers. 1:04)


CNN Producer Kim Segal: It was chaos. There was nobody there, nobody in charge. And there was nobody giving even water. The children, you should see them, they're all just in tears. There are sick people. We saw... people who are dying in front of you.


Evacuee Raymond Cooper: Sir, you've got about 3,000 people here in this -- in the Convention Center right now. They're hungry. Don't have any food. We were told two-and-a-half days ago to make our way to the Superdome or the Convention Center by our mayor. And which when we got here, was no one to tell us what to do, no one to direct us, no authority figure.

Uncollected corpses


Brown: That's not been reported to me, so I'm not going to comment. Until I actually get a report from my teams that say, "We have bodies located here or there," I'm just not going to speculate.


Segal: We saw one body. A person is in a wheelchair and someone had pushed (her) off to the side and draped just like a blanket over this person in the wheelchair. And then there is another body next to that. There were others they were willing to show us. ( See CNN report, 'People are dying in front of us' -- 4:36 )


Evacuee Cooper: They had a couple of policemen out here, sir, about six or seven policemen told me directly, when I went to tell them, hey, man, you got bodies in there. You got two old ladies that just passed, just had died, people dragging the bodies into little corners. One guy -- that's how I found out. The guy had actually, hey, man, anybody sleeping over here? I'm like, no. He dragged two bodies in there. Now you just -- I just found out there was a lady and an old man, the lady went to nudge him. He's dead.

Hospital evacuations


Brown: I've just learned today that we ... are in the process of completing the evacuations of the hospitals, that those are going very well.


CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta: It's gruesome. I guess that is the best word for it. If you think about a hospital, for example, the morgue is in the basement, and the basement is completely flooded. So you can just imagine the scene down there. But when patients die in the hospital, there is no place to put them, so they're in the stairwells. It is one of the most unbelievable situations I've seen as a doctor, certainly as a journalist as well. There is no electricity. There is no water. There's over 200 patients still here remaining. ...We found our way in through a chopper and had to land at a landing strip and then take a boat. And it is exactly ... where the boat was traveling where the snipers opened fire yesterday, halting all the evacuations. ( Watch the video report of corpses stacked in stairwells -- 4:45 )


Dr. Matthew Bellew, Charity Hospital: We still have 200 patients in this hospital, many of them needing care that they just can't get. The conditions are such that it's very dangerous for the patients. Just about all the patients in our services had fevers. Our toilets are overflowing. They are filled with stool and urine. And the smell, if you can imagine, is so bad, you know, many of us had gagging and some people even threw up. It's pretty rough.(Mayor's video: Armed addicts fighting for a fix -- 1:03)

Violence and civil unrest


Brown: I've had no reports of unrest, if the connotation of the word unrest means that people are beginning to riot, or you know, they're banging on walls and screaming and hollering or burning tires or whatever. I've had no reports of that.


CNN's Chris Lawrence: From here and from talking to the police officers, they're losing control of the city. We're now standing on the roof of one of the police stations. The police officers came by and told us in very, very strong terms it wasn't safe to be out on the street. (Watch the video report on explosions and gunfire -- 2:12)

The federal response:


Brown: Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well.


Homeland Security Director Chertoff: Now, of course, a critical element of what we're doing is the process of evacuation and securing New Orleans and other areas that are afflicted. And here the Department of Defense has performed magnificently, as has the National Guard, in bringing enormous resources and capabilities to bear in the areas that are suffering.


Crowd chanting outside the Convention Center: We want help.


Nagin: They don't have a clue what's going on down there.


Phyllis Petrich, a tourist stranded at the Ritz-Carlton: They are invisible. We have no idea where they are. We hear bits and pieces that the National Guard is around, but where? We have not seen them. We have not seen FEMA officials. We have seen no one.

Security


Brown: I actually think the security is pretty darn good. There's some really bad people out there that are causing some problems, and it seems to me that every time a bad person wants to scream of cause a problem, there's somebody there with a camera to stick it in their face. ( See Jack Cafferty's rant on the government's 'bungled' response -- 0:57)


Chertoff: In addition to local law enforcement, we have 2,800 National Guard in New Orleans as we speak today. One thousand four hundred additional National Guard military police trained soldiers will be arriving every day: 1,400 today, 1,400 tomorrow and 1,400 the next day.


Nagin: I continue to hear that troops are on the way, but we are still protecting the city with only 1,500 New Orleans police officers, an additional 300 law enforcement personnel, 250 National Guard troops, and other military personnel who are primarily focused on evacuation.


Lawrence: The police are very, very tense right now. They're literally riding around, full assault weapons, full tactical gear, in pickup trucks. Five, six, seven, eight officers. It is a very tense situation here.


I keep reading the accounts from the blog I linked earlier. It looks like the military is on their way in finally and people are being evacuated, but why the disrepencies? Why the spin? Tell us what is really happening. I am glad CNN and other places are at least attempting to report the unvarnished and unspun truth.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Selling out

I caved and put the google adds, the search bar thing and a blog search bar on the bottom. These things are supposed to drive traffic to my site, so far the only person that has commented has been my dad, so we'll see =)

Anyway let me know if they're too obnoxious, or you'd like to see something added

The 'REAL' Story

mgno.com
I mentioned this blog the other day but he's been posting more and more. I am going to simply copy and paste his latest entry.

Thursday, September 1st, 2005
10:46 pm The Real News
The following is the result of an interview I just conducted via cell phone with a New Orleans citizen stranded at the Convention Center. I don't know what you're hearing in the mainstream media or in the press conferences from the city and state officials, but here is the truth:

"Bigfoot" is a bar manager and DJ on Bourbon Street, and is a local personality and icon in the city. He is a lifelong resident of the city, born and raised. He rode out the storm itself in the Iberville Projects because he knew he would be above any flood waters. Here is his story as told to me moments ago. I took notes while he talked and then I asked some questions:


Three days ago, police and national guard troops told citizens to head toward the Crescent City Connection Bridge to await transportation out of the area. The citizens trekked over to the Convention Center and waited for the buses which they were told would take them to Houston or Alabama or somewhere else, out of this area.

It's been 3 days, and the buses have yet to appear.

Although obviously he has no exact count, he estimates more than 10,000 people are packed into and around and outside the convention center still waiting for the buses. They had no food, no water, and no medicine for the last three days, until today, when the National Guard drove over the bridge above them, and tossed out supplies over the side crashing down to the ground below. Much of the supplies were destroyed from the drop. Many people tried to catch the supplies to protect them before they hit the ground. Some offered to walk all the way around up the bridge and bring the supplies down, but any attempt to approach the police or national guard resulted in weapons being aimed at them.

There are many infants and elderly people among them, as well as many people who were injured jumping out of windows to escape flood water and the like -- all of them in dire straights.

Any attempt to flag down police results in being told to get away at gunpoint. Hour after hour they watch buses pass by filled with people from other areas. Tensions are very high, and there has been at least one murder and several fights. 8 or 9 dead people have been stored in a freezer in the area, and 2 of these dead people are kids.

The people are so desperate that they're doing anything they can think of to impress the authorities enough to bring some buses. These things include standing in single file lines with the eldery in front, women and children next; sweeping up the area and cleaning the windows and anything else that would show the people are not barbarians.

The buses never stop.

Before the supplies were pitched off the bridge today, people had to break into buildings in the area to try to find food and water for their families. There was not enough. This spurred many families to break into cars to try to escape the city. There was no police response to the auto thefts until the mob reached the rich area -- Saulet Condos -- once they tried to get cars from there... well then the whole swat teams began showing up with rifles pointed. Snipers got on the roof and told people to get back.

He reports that the conditions are horrendous. Heat, mosquitoes and utter misery. The smell, he says, is "horrific."

He says it's the slowest mandatory evacuation ever, and he wants to know why they were told to go to the Convention Center area in the first place; furthermore, he reports that many of them with cell phones have contacts willing to come rescue them, but people are not being allowed through to pick them up.


I have "Bigfoot"'s phone number and will gladly give it to any city or state official who would like to tell him how everything is under control.


Reading the comments people were saying that officials being interviewed didn't even know these people were there waiting to be picked up. Can we just think about that for a brief moment? Three days and the officials didn't know they were there.

These people aren't looters, getting food to survive is NOT looting, they were lining up in an orderly fashion! Most people can't do that on a really good day let alone after what these poor souls have been through.

Let me state again, someone told them to go there to be picked up and THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE DID NOT KNOW THEY WERE THERE until the news people asked them about it in interviews.

I don't for a moment think it's intentional, I don't think anyone means to forget people, but someone in authority is giving directions and NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT IT!!!!!

Thank heavens for Anderson Cooper, NPR and all the other news stations that are asking the 'difficult' questions, like when are you going to go get the refuges you have lining up in neat and orderly lines in 100+ degree weather waiting for you? humm?

Calif. Senate OKs same-sex marriage law

Calif. Senate OKs same-sex marriage law

It's a step, an important one but simply a step. Our Governator says he won't sign it because of a voter initative thingie a few years ago but I think the public's attitudes have changed since then.

Honestly, you haven't heard anything about 'Gay Marraige' or the issues behind it, you really don't think about it too often, it's not a part of a majority of people's lives, and on the ballott it says "Marriage is between a man and woman, yes no" well duh the majority of people are going to vote yes. However if it says "A civil union is between two consenting legal age adults" I think just as many people would say, well sure. I really don't think the distinction is so ingraned for the majority of people that they honestly care.

Two people making a committment, being a partnership is a special thing and should be celebrated. Divorce rates are so high with hetrosexual couples lets let everyone get married to bring those numbers up a bit!

As for the slippery slope, lets deal with that later, right now I'd like equality for everyone and the government out of people's bedrooms.

Wired News: Flood Waters Can't Sink Net Link

Wired News: Flood Waters Can't Sink Net Link

This article is talking about some guys in NO who have been keeping their hosting going throughout the hurricane. I've been following them because I spend more time than I really should reading the forums at www.somethingawful.com, and these guys are keeping it up despite the total arnachy going on around them. Their LiveJournal is an interesting read, especially when contrasted with what the 'official' reports I"m listening to on CNN.

For example an update from around 2am this morning

Security has become a major concern now, because the NOPD is ineffective and the looters terrorists are roaming the streets. Word is now that they're lighting buildings on fire, but I can't confirm that. Anyway, we have to run guard shifts and patrol and it limits our downtime.

It is a zoo out there though, make no mistake. It's the wild kingdom. It's Lord of the Flies. That doesn't mean there's murder on every street corner. But what it does mean is that the rule of law has collapsed, that there is no order, and that property rights cannot and are not being enforced. Anyone who is on the streets is in immediate danger of being robbed and killed. It's that bad.


Today is a bit better

The word is that in Jefferson Parish and Orleans, FEMA has "bugged out." They haven't brought supplies in.

THE REAL MILITARY IS NOW FLOWING IN. National Guard is being replaced before our eyes. Watch the feed.

Word is that the Marines are at 1515 Poydras where our OC4s are. I think we're coming back online in force shortly.

On another note: I've just been told that we're being monitored in Iraq! To all the troops there, from one soldier to another, we're hanging tough here and you hang tough too. No matter what you're hearing, we love you guys and want you to know that we know how hard you've got it. Stay strong!


http://www.livejournal.com/users/interdictor/

I recommend reading his observations, they are frightening and rather interesting. The cam shows a deserted cityscape, but thankfully no water. It is frightening that a city in the US could degenerate so quickly into anarchy. I"m glad the military is finally coming in, things sound out of control.

Just to add to the massive links, these are ones I've heard of before, but do research before you send money:

http://www.redcross.org/

http://www.amazon.com/

http://www.secondharvest.org/ -- Food bank

All the rest seemed to be religious orginizations and I figure people can find those on their own to each person's preference.

Also I heard, and I haven't confirmed, that if someone wants to actually go down and help with relief efforts their local Red Cross office is the best chance.

All thoughts and prayers go out to those in need. After my first paycheck I'll be sending money of my own.